The instinctive, natural way to express anger is to respond aggressively. Anger is a natural, adaptive response to threats: it inspires powerful, often aggressive, feelings and behaviours, which allow us to fight and to defend ourselves when we are attacked. On the other hand, we can't physically lash out at every person or object that irritates or annoys us: laws, social norms and common sense place on how far our anger can take us. People use a variety of both conscious and unconscious processes to deal with their angry feelings. The three main approaches are expressing, suppressing and calming. Expressing your angry feelings in an assertive anger. Being assertive dosen't mean being pushy or demanding: it means being respectful of yourself and others. Anger can be suppressed and then converted or redirected. This happens when you in your anger, stop thinking about it and focus on something positive.